Los Angeles Times Syndicate

4 boneless chicken breast halves

You carry all the ingredients

To turn your existence into joy,

Mix, mix

Them!

From To Build a Swing,''

Hafiz, early 14th Century

Two weeks ago, my friend Jasie invited my husband and me to a dinner party and asked me to come a little early.

Bring kitchen twine,'' she said.

To my delight, I had been invited early to be sous chef her first attempt at wedding chicken, a recipe my mother and I developed for my wedding six months earlier.

It had not only been our wedding meal, but the recipe and a small jar of preserved lemons had been one of the favors guests took home on that day. Now the gift we had given was being returned, and memories of our wedding day came flooding back.

As we ate, I looked at my husband, this time across the table instead of by my side, and I felt even closer to him than the last time we enjoyed the chicken.

A wedding is one of those magnificent rituals that happen every day across the world, but when your turn comes, it is as though you are the only person on the planet ever to have experienced such joy. You are sure your wedding will be the most magical event ever to have taken place. And with the right approach, it will be so.

In the summer of 2000, Max and I fell in love. We were engaged in the summer of 2002. We both adore summer and thrive under the sun, so it was obvious that we would be married in the summer. Since we agreed that marriage is a humble beginning, we chose the season's beginning, June.

It was important to savor the engagement. We took that time not only to plan the wedding, but to think about how our lives would combine, how the flavors would mix. Our goal was to develop the mission statement for life together, and it was clear to us that it had something to do with nourishing each other and the community around us.

We also considered the significance of place. I am from Los Angeles and my husband is from New York. Our marriage was an opportunity to join east and west, and when we decided to have the wedding on his family's land on Long Island, it became clear that a theme should be to bring some California essence to New York.

So we marched forward and, with the blessings of the mothers and fathers, planned the wedding we wanted and included our parents in ways that honored who they are in our lives.